I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
