What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
