On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
