Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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