I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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