i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
