So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
