..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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