well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
