After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
