Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I love you. Go after that dick
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
