in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
