she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
