I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
