I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
