I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She even gives head with a lisp.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
