Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
