So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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