The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
