Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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