This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
