I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
