I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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