I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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