he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
