I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
