i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
