i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
