please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Small penises have feelings too.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
