oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
