I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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