I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
