I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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