that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
