everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
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