I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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