I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
