It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
