dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
