curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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