y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Vodka?
Forever.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
