He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
