Yo dont text me then not text me
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
