I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
someone owes me an orgasm
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
