i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
