I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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