You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
