he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
