i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
