he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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