sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
