i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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