Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
