I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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