Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
